Trying to focus on the highs during the ups and downs of life

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Sam Houston

FROM MY FRONT PORCH

Sam Houston is a syndicated columnist and newspaper executive. He is also an author, actor, playwright, and entertainment producer/promoter.

A very wise man told me to try and swallow life in small bites, because there will be mouthfuls that will be particularly bitter and others especially sweet. By taking small bites, one minimizes the extremes.

Recently I watched a TV newscast where they gave an update about an adoption. There are tens of thousands of people who seek to adopt a child, but unfortunately, most of them have their heart set on adopting a baby, or at the very least, a very young child. Some speculate the older children already have special needs or emotional baggage that they simply do not want to undertake. Once a child reaches the age of 8, the adoption likelihood drops significantly. Imagine how forlorn those children must feel, sitting and waiting for a family that never appears.

There are approximately 450,000 U.S. children who are in foster care, and around 28,753 are in Texas. Of that number 5,925 are seeking to be adopted. The story I watched was about a 14-year-old boy who was adopted by a 50-ish single male. The man had never married but always wanted a son. He was only too happy to adopt the young man and the story and accompanying video were more than heartwarming.

The adopting parent did everything he could to make the child feel comfortable and loved. The two rode motorcycles together, went fishing, and embraced all sorts of activities where they could participate together. When I watched the video of the two, it was obvious the new family was "over the moon happy" with being in each other's lives. How cool is it that a young person with no family finally has someone to love him, nurture him, and make him feel like part of a family? How cool is it that the adult is finally able to fulfill his dream of being a father? Looks to me like life dealt both the man, and the teenager, a great hand of cards. This is one of the "sweet’ bites in life.

On the other hand, I went to see my 93-year-old friend on Saturday. She had recently been in the hospital for a week as she recovered from some internal issues. Instead of returning to assisted living, she was sent to a facility so she could rehab and strengthen herself.

The rehab facility is pleasant enough. It is clean and she appears to be well taken care of, but my friend was upset because she was not able to return to her assisted living facility, which she considers home.

I spent the day taking every step I could to make her comfortable. I brought her favorite food to her, moved a special chair from her residence to her new location, and did anything else I could to make her happy. Nothing seemed to work.

At one point during the day, my friend let me know she thought she might never be able to leave where she was and return to her assisted living facility. She pointed out a very elderly and infirm woman who was sitting in a wheelchair in the hallway. The woman was asleep, and her head hung down precipitously as she snored. My friend said, "You see her, she is much better off than I am because she doesn't know what is happening to her; She is past that. I know what is happening to me and know I am deteriorating."

There wasn't much I could say to my friend. She was right, the old woman in the wheelchair was not cognizant of her surroundings and seemed to be oblivious to where she was. My friend knows she is failing, and the end is not as far away as it once was.

I tried to encourage Miss Jayne, saying the exercise she was doing would improve her and she would be better before she knew it. My friend was not convinced. I paused for a moment and then explained to her, "The end comes for everyone Jayne and we never know if it will be today or next week or next year. The secret is to face the reality of the end with dignity and holding on to the love of those around you who care." It was a bitter bite to take, but one which had to be swallowed.

When Miss Jayne heard those words, she paused and then smiled and told me she loved me. I blinked repeatedly to keep my eyes dry and nodded a smile to her. There wasn't much else to say.

The two incidents might not seem connected, but they are. Life has so many ups and downs. It is important to appreciate the good, and attempt to cope with the bad. It is all part of the journey we all must travel. One story may bring sadness in its inevitability, and the other brings joy knowing "good" may come from a bad situation. It is all part of the journey of life.

Thought for the day: Life is a journey. It is not where you end up but how you got there.

Until next time, I will keep ridin’ the storm out.

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